Memorable quotes

Zohan: I just want to make people silky-smooth!
Michael: It’s not that big.
Zohan: No, not that. The bush, is biggest you ever seen, right?
Gail: Usually he’s harder than trigonometry.
[Zohan shows Gail the gel that was thrown at the salon; Gail tastes the gel]
Gail: Oh, that’s Neosporin! I use it on cuts and on genital sores.
Salim: [to the two women riding his cab] You are a stupid cow!
Zohan: I only be stiff for you.
Michael: What are you? Bionic?
Zohan: No, I only like the ladies.
Michael: Well, tonight’s our night for the Community Nightwatch.
Zohan: The Communism tight crotch? What?
Dalia: Zohan! He has a bomb ……. and puppies!
Zohan: No!
James: Imma blow up this whole block, Imma blow you up, Imma blow up these puppies! And we all gone’ go to hell together, cause I hate these puppies!

You Dont Mess With Zohan

This is the story about a Mossad agent Zohan Dvir, who fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist. He romances his clients by giving them “special services” in the back room. However, he is eventually recognized, and risks losing his newfound life and career.